Obstruction

Mueller report, p370: “The President’s efforts to influence the investigation were mostly unsuccessful, but that is largely because the persons who surrounded the President declined to carry out orders or accede to his requests.”

There are a lot of crimes with names of the form “Attempted xxx”. And if you or I attempted them, we’d be in jail.

I guess it pays to have the GOP Senate as your legal defense team.

PIYAH

According to WGFL, it was early Sunday morning when Clarese Gainey said she heard a noise outside her Gainesville apartment. She told police she peeked out her window to see a large man pulling on her car door handle and knocking on the window while only wearing his boxers.

“So I grabbed my bat and I braced myself, I eased the door open. I tucked that bat and hit him upside the head. I said ‘PIYAH’ and he said ‘OWW,’” Gainey said.

Yesss

We just boarded the plane home from Scotland. I noticed something stuck on one of my molars. Bit of candy, I assumed. After some discrete digging, I decided to take a cell phone selfie of my mouth.

Hey look! The porcelain surface of a crown I had installed in 1989 is delaminating!

I know what my tongue is going to be doing for the next 10 hours!