While walking her dogs in Corolla [NC] last month near their home on Corova Road, resident Ilze Drozds-Russano heard a helicopter fly overhead, then felt a cool mist spray across her body.

Instantly, her eyes began to burn and as the chemicals seeped through from the misting, she was unable to open her eyes.

Making it back to the home, she quickly and thoroughly washed the spray off her body and the dogs, but within hours Russano developed a severe rash and other flu-like symptoms, breathing complications, and nausea for several days.

Horrible, eh? That's not the worst part.

...Russano’s doctor explained that he could not offer her a diagnosis or treatment plan because the chemicals in the gypsy moth pesticide, known as Foray 76B, are trade secret ingredients owned by Canada-based manufacturer Valent Biosciences Corp.

The doctor was stymied. He said, ‘If you don’t know what’s in it, I can’t help you.’” Russano’s husband Frank Russano said. “She cannot be tested, or treated for the rash, and now she’s developed this flu and we have no of knowing if the two are related.”

If this happened to me, I'd have a swarm of ravenous lawyers chewing their way through the company that owns the helicopter, the pilot of that helicopter, the N.C. Department of Agriculture and Consumer Sciences and, of course, the pesticide manufacturer. Munch. Munch. Munch. And then my lawyers would leave the brown and dessicated husks of those companies and return to me as butterflies made of fresh, sweet, settlement cash. And there would be pie - assuming I lived that long.