Why I Hate Allmusic.com

...and by extension, iTunes' record reviews.

Exhibit A, Peter Gabriel: Security:

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That's not to say that the rest of the album is bland easy listening — it's designed this way, to have certain songs deliver greater impact than the rest. As such, it demands close attention to appreciate tone poems like "The Family and the Fishing Net," "Lay Your Hands on Me," and "Wallflower" — and not all of them reward such intensive listening. Even with its faults, Security remains a powerful listen, one of the better records in Gabriel's catalog, proving that he is becoming a master of tone, style, and substance, and how each part of the record enhances the other.
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AllMusic's rating: 3 stars of of five. This makes it tied with 1992's Us and 2002's Up for the lowest-rated studio album in Gabriel's AllMusic discography. How can it also be "one of the better records in Gabriel's catalog" ?

Exhibit B, Cowboy Junkies : The Caution Horses:

With the ethereal voice of Margo Timmins gleaning the lyrics "The phone rings, but I don't answer it/Good news always sleeps till noon" on the opener ("Sun Comes Up, It's Tuesday Morning), listeners rest assured -- the Junkies haven't compromised their comfortable, country-twanged, folk-rock style to cater more to the trends of the masses. Mellow, honest, and provocatively reticent at points, their melancholic tone might seem bland to those with more aggressive tastes, or to simply more mainstream palettes, but for those whose tastes float serenely upstream, and for Junkies fans in general, this album is a treat.
...

Rest assured, this honest, and provocatively reticent record is a treat! Two out of five stars.

iTunes is smart enough to not use AllMusic's ratings, but they use AllMusic's write-ups.

One thought on “Why I Hate Allmusic.com

  1. Bobby Lightfoot

    “Provocatively reticent” is awesome. i couldn’t come up with a better oxymoron if you put a gun to my head. We’re in, like, this parallel universe where Sarah Palin is Robert Cristgau.

    I wish I was stupid.

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