This just in!
In the longest, most frighteningly insane blog post you will ever see, a racist, xenophobic, retarded woman proves that Obama* is really...the son of Malcom X!
* : Barack Osama Saddam Hussein AntiChrist Madrassa Obama-Xerxes, that is.
Category Archives: Election
Past Times
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The last time the Phillies won the World Series I was 10. Mike Schmidt, Larry Bowa, Greg Luzinski, Steve Carlton, Pete Rose, Del Unser... I used to know them all.
So now it's nice to learn the franchise has won another one, finally. I didn't watch any of this series; 1980 was the last time I paid any attention to baseball.
The Wisdom of the American People
From The Plank, results from a poll of people who have already voted:
Florida: McCain 49%, Obama 45%, Don't Know 6%
Ohio: Obama 57%, McCain 35%, Don't Know 3%
What The Fuck?
Those Cherries Aren't Going To Pick Themselves!
Trying to wish away imminent political doom, GOP Knob Polisher Central, RedState, has come up with a list: The Seven Reasons McCain-Palin Are a Lock to Win. Awesome! Let's read it!
Reason 1:
The first and foremost reason McCain-Palin will win is the absolute arrogance, elitism, condescending, patronizing and in-your-face voter suppression campaign – don’t vote for McCain, he can not win -- being conducted by the national media on Senator Obama’s behalf.
Mm k. Seems like the polling says people disagree with that assessment; and the reason the media says McCain can't win is that the polling says he doesn't have enough support in the right places to win. But, whatevah. You're the expert here, not me.
Reason 2:
The Gallup poll after Labor Day has historically been a predictor of the winner of the Presidential election. The person leading in that poll wins the Presidency.
Now that sounds like solid science to me! Only a fool would ask questions like "What about the fact that Gore was ahead in the post-Labor Day Gallup poll in 2000?" or "What about the fact that Carter was up by 4 in that same poll, back in 1980?" And I ain't no fool! So, let's see what Gallup said this year:
| Day | Obama | McCain | |
| 9/1 | 49 | 43 | (Labor Day) |
| 9/2 | 52 | 42 | |
| 9/3 | 49 | 43 | |
| 9/4 | 49 | 42 | |
| 9/5 | 48 | 44 |
Etc..
So, Um... Would you care to revise your theory? Yes? Go ahead, then.
The Republican convention, pushed onto Labor Day by the Summer Olympics muddied the waters on this historic fact, but the Gallup poll a week later showed McCain ahead of Obama, predicting the McCain victory.
Presto! Historic fact! Data doesn't fit? Use different data! Voila! QED! Solid Proof!
Proof that they're a bunch of fucking retards, that is.
As for their other "reasons"... those prove that RedStaters are unable to use Google to back up their statistical claims (polls prove Women and Jews hate Obama! Oh really?), and that they think Real Americans will all change their minds and vote for McCain, even though they're been telling pollsters for two months now, that they're going to vote for Obama. Why? Because Real Americans think like Red Staters, that's why. Science!
U.S. Presidential Election Maps
The Price of Encouraging Political Violence
Real America
Dear Mrs Pailn,
Please tell me the story of the Real America again.
Yours Truly, The Indianapolis Star.
Federal agents have broken up a plot by two neo-Nazi skinheads to assassinate Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama and shoot or decapitate 102 black people, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco Firearms and Explosives said today.
Thief!
Some scoundrel has absconded with my precious Obama yard sign! It lasted a week.
Oh well, I guess I'll have to give the campaign another $10 to replace it.
Update: but, the local Obama office is completely out of signs - because people keep stealing them, they sell out twice as quickly as they normally would. No wonder he made $150M last month.
Plz?
