Trying to wish away imminent political doom, GOP Knob Polisher Central, RedState, has come up with a list: The Seven Reasons McCain-Palin Are a Lock to Win. Awesome! Let's read it!
Reason 1:
The first and foremost reason McCain-Palin will win is the absolute arrogance, elitism, condescending, patronizing and in-your-face voter suppression campaign – don’t vote for McCain, he can not win -- being conducted by the national media on Senator Obama’s behalf.
Mm k. Seems like the polling says people disagree with that assessment; and the reason the media says McCain can't win is that the polling says he doesn't have enough support in the right places to win. But, whatevah. You're the expert here, not me.
Reason 2:
The Gallup poll after Labor Day has historically been a predictor of the winner of the Presidential election. The person leading in that poll wins the Presidency.
Now that sounds like solid science to me! Only a fool would ask questions like "What about the fact that Gore was ahead in the post-Labor Day Gallup poll in 2000?" or "What about the fact that Carter was up by 4 in that same poll, back in 1980?" And I ain't no fool! So, let's see what Gallup said this year:
| Day | Obama | McCain | |
| 9/1 | 49 | 43 | (Labor Day) |
| 9/2 | 52 | 42 | |
| 9/3 | 49 | 43 | |
| 9/4 | 49 | 42 | |
| 9/5 | 48 | 44 |
Etc..
So, Um... Would you care to revise your theory? Yes? Go ahead, then.
The Republican convention, pushed onto Labor Day by the Summer Olympics muddied the waters on this historic fact, but the Gallup poll a week later showed McCain ahead of Obama, predicting the McCain victory.
Presto! Historic fact! Data doesn't fit? Use different data! Voila! QED! Solid Proof!
Proof that they're a bunch of fucking retards, that is.
As for their other "reasons"... those prove that RedStaters are unable to use Google to back up their statistical claims (polls prove Women and Jews hate Obama! Oh really?), and that they think Real Americans will all change their minds and vote for McCain, even though they're been telling pollsters for two months now, that they're going to vote for Obama. Why? Because Real Americans think like Red Staters, that's why. Science!
You tell ’em, Dan-o! Newspapers publishing editorials explaining why you should vote for Obama is exactly like stealing ballots, forcibly turning voters away from polls, purging their names from voter rolls, etc…
I swear they published a similar list prior to the 2006 election. “Why Glorious GOP Will Be Covered in Glorious Glory in 2006!”
But really, is there any bigger collection of hacks on the intarnetz than the collection of fools are Bizarro World? Tho, I have to admit that Teh Corner is giving them a run for their money for the past couple weeks.
My inability to use correct grammar means, STFU!
The Cornhole is pretty lame, but they miss the hilarious seething ignorance of BW/RS by doing annoying pretentious shit like name-dropping philosophers.
I like how th’ fart goes “RRRRR” and then “Poof” once it’s out. It’s like a cluster fart.
Oh yeah- that crazy election.