$7,250 Speaker Cables Turn You Into a Dancin' Fool
Newton, Mass. - September 21, 2007 - Pear Cable Corporation, a manufacturer of high fidelity audio cables for both home and car environments, continues to redefine the limits of what is possible in high-end audio cable design. The glowing review of Pear Cable's new ANJOU Speaker Cable, bolsters the argument for describing the cable as one of the world's best.
Dave Clark, Editor of audio review publication Positive Feedback Online describes the ANJOU performance as being "... way better than anything I have heard..." He goes on to say, "Simply put these are very danceable cables. Music playing through them results in the proverbial foot-tapping scene with the need or desire to get up and move. Great swing and pace--these cables smack that right on the nose big time."
I've really got to ditch this programming crap and get into selling voodoo audio gear. I mean, I can write this kind of nonsense:
"Opus MM Speaker Cable consists of many heavy strands of individually insulated oxygen-free copper. We specifically chose the strand size for its low noise, low resonance properties in audio signal applications. OPUS MM is so quiet and resolving that final adjustments to the network require tolerances to 1/100 of an ohm and 1 picofarad. The extremely quiet listening environment provided by the new Transparent Music and Film Studio was instrumental to the development of OPUS MM. To keep resonance from obscuring the nuances of the music signal as it travels through the cable and network, a large mass of epoxy damping material encapsulates the Opus MM network, which is then encased with carbon fiber. The network pod sits upon a thick acrylic plinth supported by four adjustable feet, to insure stable 4-point contact and decouple the network from room borne resonance. OPUS MM unleashes thrilling levels of performance in low level information retrieval and dynamics and creates a wide-open conduit through which your favorite music can flow."
I got yr fuckin Acryilc Plinth, right here...
I wouldn't ask $30K for my stuff, though - so as not to become an internet laughing stock. I'd keep it relatively cheap, like Monster cables, which are apparently not much better than coat hangers, but are still a bit of a prestige item.
See, that’s my whole problem- in my studio I can tell you all th’ copper strands are fucking SOAKED in oxygen. Oxygen EVERYWHERE.
Jesus Christ. The ANJOU. I might have to opt down to th’ 1,500 BARTLETT. This is what happens when people have more money than they know what to do with. This ‘n’ ebay.
the bartletts aren’t bad, but if you don’t get a good batch they will impart a certain – oh how to describe this – mealy quality to the sound. all the notes are right, but there’s something gritty and unpleasant about their timbre that makes you wish your ears could spit them back out.
Dude I totally saw Acrylic Plinth on the ’03 tour.
But that there seem to be enough Consumption goofs to make the effort of designing, building and marketing, I won’t say worthwhile, but you know, profitable, even if they make 29K per set sold…all because some people need help with their dancing, in the privacy of their own castles/McMansions… well, it just shows the miraculous nature of postmodern unreality-based market capitulazation, and the tragically alienating nature of overripe capitualism; all that money, and they’re too lazy or scared to go out dancing.
A tale told by an idiot.