Barack Obama was once 19, and therefore, he wrote a poem:

UNDERGROUND
Under water grottos, caverns
Filled with apes
That eat figs.
Stepping on the figs
That the apes
Eat, they crunch.
The apes howl, bare
Their fangs, dance,
Tumble in the
Rushing water,
Musty, wet pelts
Glistening in the blue.

OK. What does that mean?

Beats me. But if pressed [presses self] I'd say it's a vivid description of a fantastical scene, with no deeper meaning. Maybe he had just watched Beneath The Planet Of The Apes, or had just finished reading about the aquatic ape hypothesis. THC was probably present. Or maybe there really is some deep symbolism there that I just can't see. I admit I've never been great at that kind of thing.

On the other hand, I think we can all agree that not seeing a deep meaning in that poem is a different kind of not-great than seeing it as a subtle political allegory about "belligerent, boastful" Israeli Jews "despoiling the land in which they have settled" as told by someone deeply familiar with the Qur'an. Right?

Wonkette can take it from here.