Multi-faceted internet meme Chuck Norris whips it - his Big Book Of metaphors - out and explains why Newt needs to win the GOPprimary:

I’m reminded here of Samuel Adams’ wisdom and challenge: “If ever time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin.”

If it’s true that you can always tell one’s positions by the enemies they have, and I believe it is, then Newt is exactly where he needs to be, battling the trifecta of tyranny: Mitt’s treasuries, the MSM and the GOP elite.

The "trifecta of tyranny"! Was it Tyrants Day down at the local track? "The first 100 visitors receive a free box set of Saddam's novels!"

Nonsense aside, it sounds a little grandiose. The GOP isn't a government in which a single ruler is vested with absolute power. Nor does it wield absolute power unjustly or cruelly. They're a political party - a fund raising and distribution center, basically. Maybe Norris is overestimating the power the GOP actually wields.

One cannot, in any way, underestimate the grisly enormity of this triple-headed monstrosity.

Well, excuuuuuse me!

It is a Goliath of ginormous proportions. And let there be no doubt: Only heaven and earth combining their forces will overcome this gargantuan foe. As I’ve said in previous columns, we need the best of the best veterans of political war to fight against the three-headed chthonic giant, and then to scale the Washington acropolis and combat the supreme sultan of political swing occupying the Oval Office.

Thomas Paine was correct: “Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered.”

Yow. I don't even know what the "supreme sultan of political swing" means - Obama, Guitar George, and Harry the honky-tonk piano player play politically-charged Creole music at little dive bars in south London ? (Does Obama play drums or bass? Do they get their chicks for free?) But, just as a series of words, it sure sounds purty. Very poetic. And I do like the image of baby-headed Newt defeating a three-headed anything, then scaling anything, on his way to fight Obama and his band of unambitious jazzbos. That's a hell of scene you've painted, Chuck! Next time, maybe you could take it easy on the historical references, though: not everything in the present is a replay of something from the past.