Those fanatical atheists

A sad day has come; a full year has elapsed without a Fafblog post. I was watching to see if Blogspot would kill the site after a year with no posts - looks like they haven't. So, that's good.

But, I'm going to take this occasion to repost (again) my favorite Fafblog post, ever. It's called the the legend of Benjamin Healy, and it goes like this:

"Whatever happened to Benjamin Healy, honest ol tricky ol Benjamin Healy who sold hats to the headless an converted the footless an befriended the friendless, the oppressed an the short throughout the land?" says me.
"They say he flew around the world in a contraption made a geese feathers an elevator parts an a monorail from the world's fair!" says Giblets.
"An on the way he gave presents to all the good little boys an girls," says me, "which is how the story of Jesus came to be."
"They say when two old women came up to him both claimin to be the mother of a child, ol' Ben Healy said 'We shall cut the child in half' an so they did," says Giblets.
"An each half of the child grew into another whole child!" says me.
"An amazin man, that ol Ben Healy," says Giblets.
"They say in court ol Benjamin Healy defended the soul of a duck what had sold its soul to the devil himself," says me. "An his oratory was so stirrin an his voice so patriotic that the jury absolved the bird of his pact with Satan an made him a representative in the United States Congress!"
"An those duck's tears went on to form the Cuyahoga River," says Giblets.
"They say the devil got so angry he came after ol Benjamin Healy to cheat him outta his soul," says me. "His soul which was delicious an smelled like a fresh-baked pie."
"An that was back in the days when the devil was made of machines," says Giblets. "Steel-drivin automatic-loggin machines that took people's jobs AND their souls."
"Devil's no fan of the workin man," says me.
"An they say ol Benjamin Healy beat the devil at cards an chess an Cheese or Weevil an he said 'Ol Devil if you really are the devil you'll turn yourself into a line of overpriced yet reasonably comfortable athletic footwear' an the devil not bein one to run from a challenge did jus that," says Giblets.
"An ol Ben Healy boxed up the devil an distributed him to millions of eager consumers around the world," says me. "Which is where we get the Nike Swoosh."
"Organized sports were transformed forever," says Giblets.
"Whatever happened to Serge Garcia, fearsome an terrible Serge Garcia who strode the mountains an fought with the savage woodsy men an ruled the piney trees?" says me.
"They say he could skin an eat an army of Vikings in one go an still have room left over for their boats," says Giblets. "For their army of boats."
"They say he could could crush an elephant in one hand but lived at peace with the tiniest creatures of the forest," says me.
"Cept when he was crushin em in one hand to show people how he could crush em in one hand," says Giblets.
"They say no mortal woman was enough for him so he made one himself outta whiskey an liquors an ale," says me. "An he loved her like a lumberjack made of eating loves a woman made of ham."
"An then one day he was like 'I'm real thirsty' an he drank her an she was gone," says Giblets.
"An he cried real sad an he roamed the land an he ate a whole live buffalo," says me.
"They say he tore a bear in half or a tiger or a moose or a goat," says Giblets, "so enraged with sadness was he at the sea for the loss of his whiskey-bride."
"They say he roamed the northern woods like the sasquatch or among the sasquatch or become the sasquatch," says me.
"Only the Navajo know an they sing of his legend in their old old songs," says Giblets.
"Their old old songs which live on in the early studio recordings of the band Foreigner," says me.
"'Jukebox Hero' was later covered by Soul Asylum for reasons that remain largely a mystery," says Giblets.
"A mystery like the legends of Serge Garcia an Benjamin Healy," says me.
"A mystery indeed," says Giblets.

Indeed.

See, also, Drivin With Donald.

I'm Sure You Can Deal

Avedon at Eschaton writes:

Shouldn't it concern us that Republicans are constantly talking about how people will all wise up when the next terrorist attack at home comes?

I mean, they really seem to be looking forward to it, and they take great delight in the thought that, by God, people will see things differently when it happens.

They relish the thought. They hunger for that terrorist attack they need to save their Party.

I, Not Atrios, think Democrats would be wise to talk on TV about how the last thing we need is to put people in power who have such a stake in having terrorists attack Americans.

My emphasis.

BOO!!!

This guy thinks hot tubs are great for seducing women:

I guarantee you that you will seduce and make love to more single women if you buy a hot tub. Single women really lose their inhibitions and get real excited when they get in a hot tub, especially under the influence of alcohol. Hot tubs make it so much easier to seduce women. Believe me, I know and I have so many wonderful and lustful memories of the fun times I had in my hot tub.

Arright then. Giggity Giggity Giggity.

Is "I want To Sex You Up" the kind of thing you'd expect to hear over the intercom at a dentist's office?

I wanna sex you up
I want to sex you up
All night - girl you make me feel good
I want to -let me rub you down - sex you up.

Say do you feel lonely girl
Let me turn down the lights
So I can hold you in the darkness
Ooh baby, lets make love tonight
Yeah, dig, you feel so right baby
When I love you down
Please be my wife, sugar
Cause all I wanna do is
...

It sure took me by surprise. The receptionist didn't seem to care, though. She was groovin.

New Spoon album arrived in my mailbox today. Haven't listened to it yet, but it's just gotta be great, it simply must be great. Otherwise, I will stomp my foot and shake my fist.

For $20/hr.

And even though these guys are assholes for doing it, they are teaching a valuable aspect of the programming business: outsourcing.

I C Ded Peeps

Keith Olbermann's righteous and blistering castigation of Bush is the kind of thing that should be read in textbooks decades from now.

Olbermann's a national treasure.