Q & A

The Survival Seed Bank is fucking awesome.

You don't have to be an Old Testament prophet to see what's going on all around us. A belligerent lower class demanding handouts. A rapidly diminishing middle class crippled by police state bureaucracy. An aloof, ruling elite that has introduced us to an emerging totalitarianism which seeks control over every aspect of our lives.

Oh sure, that's just standard wingnut boilerplate. Be afraid! Be afraid! Gotta get the mark good and ready for the pitch you're about to lay on him. So, here we go:

As the meltdown progresses, one of the first things to be affected will be our nation's food supply. Expect soaring prices along with moderate to severe shortages by spring. If you don't have the ability to grow your own food next year, your life may be in danger. Supply lines for food distribution in this country are about three days, meaning a dependence on "just in time" distribution systems, which will leave store shelves empty in the event of even the smallest crisis.

Holy shit! What can I do??

First, you need to have the peace of mind knowing that if things were to get scary, that you and your family could still eat. Listen: having enough non-hybrid seeds to plant an acre or two could be the difference between life and death. With our new "Survival Seed Bank," growing your own survival food becomes easy. Remember, our hand-picked seeds are not genetically modified in any way. You simply save some of your harvest seeds from year one and have more than enough to plant in year two. You'll never need to buy seeds again! You just can't do that with man-made hybrid seeds.

It's been very difficult to acquire high quality, open pollinated seeds lately. We've had a lot of our Food Storage Secrets' customers asking for a good source and we finally have seeds we feel comfortable offering folks whose lives may depend on exceptional germination rates

Tell me more!

Remember, non-hybrid seeds can be grown practically anywhere and have the ability to assimilate mineral and trace elements from the soil that man made plants just don't seem to have. That's because they were created by God as we read in Genesis:

And God said, "Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth."

Not being an end-times farmer, I don't understand how these seeds can be considered to be "non-hybrid"; the plants they came from are the results of many millennia of human-directed hybridization, and nobody but anthropological botanists would even recognize the wild ancestors of the plants in today's produce markets. God did not create "Reid's Yellow Dent" corn - Robert Reid did, in the 1840s - a fact which the Survival Seed Bank's web page notes!

Man, you're dazzling me with these contradictions. Better step up the pitch, you're losing me!

So here's the deal: I'm trying to get the word out before the food crisis becomes too apparent to the general public and there is a run on these seed banks. I've decided to sell the Survival Seed Bank at a discounted price to our customers who use this website to order. For the general public, the price will be a fat $297.00 - no discounts... even to FEMA or military personnel. Take it or leave it. But for existing Solutions From Science customers, as long as you buy online from this site, I will send you everything for just...

$149 Until We Run Out!

That's less than half of what everyone else will have to pay when the Survival Seed Bank hits the street. I'm making this "extra" discounted offer because our current customers deserve "first dibs" on something this important.

OMGS! Must. Buy. Now. FEMA can suck it!

Really, the whole thing is incredible. There's just too much good stuff. I want to blockquote it all! But I mustn't. Instead, I urge you to go check out The Survival Seed Bank ! (before it's too late!)

via

Bad Paintings Of Obama

Obama = Bush. But In Reverse

When you tell people what you plan to do, it increases your motivation to follow-through. Therefore, I'm telling you that I'm going to follow this so I can run this.

I ran it two years ago, and got my ass kicked. I skipped the next year, because I wasn't running at the time; but I felt bummed about it because the race takes place in our neighborhood and I saw people who could barely walk but were nonetheless out there doing it, while I loafed.

I haven't run since October, after a third strained calf muscle in a month knocked my enthusiasm for running to zero. But, it's time to get back out there.

I still haven't yet decided if it will be shoes or no shoes - no shoes is still enticing, but I never strained a calf running in shoes. Whatever I decide, I'm going to run this hilly, early morning, get beat by 13 year old girls, wife is still asleep and the cats can't wave from the porch even if they wanted to, race.

This I declare.

What If Everybody in Canada Flushed At Once? via

Matador has released the list for their Pavement comp, and has announced the winners of the guess-the-tracklist contest.

The list is... odd. Out of 23 songs, there is only one song from their last record, "Terror Twilight", and only two from "Wowee Zowee". While the former is pretty widely considered to be their weakest record, it definitely has more than one strong song; and the latter is one of their best records, with plenty of good songs to choose from. Instead, Matador took five songs each from "Slanted and Enchanted" and "Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain". While those are admittedly their two best records, focusing so closely on them gives a distorted picture of Pavement's overall career - which is what I thought the point of the compilation was. At least that's the impression I got from the description Matador used when they announced the comp. Now obviously Matador wants to sell records, so they want to load the Best Of with as many strong songs as they can both to encourage sales of the comp itself, and to entice people who buy the comp to go buy the back catalog. But I'm not sure their list is the optimal for either of those goals.

But, never mind me. I'm just cranky 'cause my list didn't win. :)

Via The Consumerist:

Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash Tuesday at Mile Marker 21 on Cudjoe Key was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat.

"She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit," Trooper Gary Dunick said.

The whole shaving-while-driving this is truly awesome, but I just can't get past the ex-husband part.

Dude. WTF?

Cheney Lingers

Ever heard of ascorbic acid? It is better known as "vitamin C". Ever wonder what "ascorbic" means ?

Here's a hint in the form of a question: what disease is vitamin C famously known for preventing? A hint within a hint: sailors who spent long times at sea without fresh fruit or vegetables (though even fresh meat can prevent it) used to get this disease.

That's right: scurvy.

And, so ascorbic acid is the acid which prevents scurvy. If the scientists who discovered it were inclined to use English names, it could've been called ascurvic acid. Instead, they went with the Latin root of "scurvy", "scorbutus".

For more on vitamin C and scurvy, go read more about scurvy and how the cure was discovered, then lost, then discovered again.