The Pity Party

“This is indeed the kettle calling the pot black,” Mark Williams, national spokesman of the conservative grassroots group [teabaggers], told CNN.

“We’re fighting the government programs that have emasculated the black family,” Williams said.

He added: “It’s the Obama administration that rolled back civil rights to a pre-civil rights era with ‘Obamacare’ in which they removed the concept of individual rights…it’s the Obama administration that put a tax on white people with a tanning salon tax. I mean, this is the kind of stuff the Tea Party movement is fighting. We are fighting for the Constitution of this country, which, by definition, makes this a human rights movement – a civil rights movement.”

I didn’t realize the right to cultivate melanoma was a right anyone would want to fight for. But I guess if you’ve dedicated yourself to fighting everything Obama does, you really have to fight everything, even if it means taking skin cancer’s side in the fight against … wait, what ?

No no no. The problem is that they haven’t linked the tanning bed tax to something people can relate to. Let me think… oh yeah, here we go:

Obama, the freedom-hating demon, wants to force us to look at strippers who haven’t been evenly browned to a rich, glistening, shade of Thanksgiving Turkey Brown. The villain. What’s next, a tax on fake tits? Just think of what such a thing would do to the cast of The Jersey Shore!

Yo, won’t somebody think of us?

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2 thoughts on “The Pity Party

  1. cleek

    it’s one of those pseudo-reality shows where everyone acts outrageous because they want to become famous.

    or at least that’s what i’ve learned from seeing clips of it on The Soup.

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