THE star of top German TV showThe Farmer Wants A Wife has been accused by animal rights charity Peta of sexually abusing his chickens.
Gah. Fucking PETA.
Seventy-one-year-old nudist Hansi was shown using his finger to sexually stimulate his female birds on the final episode, broadcast on Monday night to 8.6million viewers.
He explained: “I do what the cockerel would usually do, only with my finger. It is like an orgasm for the chicken.”
The gruff farmer added: “Hansi is always happy when the chickens are happy.”
Caught you red handed!!
What's German for "Bookmobile" ?
KYLE: Woa dude! It's the bookmobile driver!!
BARBRADY: Caught you red handed!!
BOOKMOBILE DRIVER: Indeed you did!! How did you know I would strike here?
BARBRADY: By reading Teetle the Timid Taxidermist!
BOOKMOBILE DRIVER: YOU DID?! REALLY?! THEN IT WORKED!! MY WHOLE PLAN WORKED ABSOLUTELY PERFECTLY!!!
STAN: What are you talking about dude?
BOOKMOBILE DRIVER: When I heard that Officer Barbrady couldn't read, I knew I had to motivate him somehow! So I formulated a plan to encourage him to learn the magic of reading!!
KYLE: So you fucked a bunch of chickens?
BOOKMOBILE DRIVER: YES! YES! EXACTLY!!! Don't you see, only by fucking chickens could I get Officer Barbrady to become literate!
Everyone thinks, and tries to make this make sense.
Once, long ago, I stayed overnight with a family who bred and raised some exotic breed of cat. They also had horses and stuff, but the cats were the special thing.
They didn’t want to spay their females, because they wanted to breed them. But, they didn’t want to breed them every time they came into heat.
So, they kept this little glass wand that they would use to basically f*ck the cat and break its heat. Kind of a kitty dildo.
This was sort of out of scope for my white bread NY suburban upbringing. “Self”, I said to myself, “there are a lot of different kinds of people in this world”.
Thanks –
errr… eew.
i guess that’s another reason to spay and neuter your pets.
They were very nice people, but I was really, really glad to leave.