Some Of These Things Do Not Belong

A "100 greatest songs" list seems like an audacious statement. Is the list-maker really claiming solid knowledge of thousands of songs, and declaring that his musical taste is so refined that it approaches objectivity? You might think so. And that would take balls. And yet, all such lists basically look the same: top spots go to legends, icons; it's heavily weighted to the 60's and 70's; there are a dozen or so artists that can not be left out, etc.. You know how they go. Every one of them looks like a light re-shuffling of the same list we've all seen a million times already. That's why these lists are, frankly, boring - there aren't a lot of surprises: it's all Otis, Sam Cooke, Marvin, Dylan, the Beach Boys, the Beatles, Jimi, Micheal Jackson and Van. Lately, Nirvana gets to sit in the top half, looking uncomfortable, waiting to see if their position is due to the list-maker's early-90s nostalgia, or if "Smells Like..." really has the staying power of something like "Dock Of The Bay".

And, every list has a few oddball choices: obscure favorites of critics which didn't sell well, or songs that were really popular in their day but have mostly faded from memory and which seem a bit lightweight when we hear them now. But there should only be a couple, and they probably shouldn't break the top 25 - there are too many obvious songs that you just can't bump. For example, is XTC's "Mayor Of Simpleton" a better song than "Satisfaction" or "Come Together" or "Billy Jean" ? Outside of a "Top 20 XTC Songs" ranking, would that be #11 on any list? Is either LL Cool J's "Mama Said Knock You Out" or The Doobie Brothers' “What a Fool Believes” better than “Like a Rolling Stone” or "Ticket To Ride" or "Jailhouse Rock" ?

Disturbing questions, no doubt. But not nearly as disturbing as these: is Tears For Fears' “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” a better song than Aretha Franklin's “Respect”? Is Tears For Fear's "Sewing The Seeds Of Love" better than all but 99 songs of the past 50 years?

Luckily for their immortal souls, the linked-list-makers neatly evade all those questions because they didn't claim "better"; their list was "Our Top 100 Favorite Singles". And that saves them from what would've been an extra-horrible time in Rock Critic Hell, had they actually claimed that The Hues Corporation disco hit “Rock the Boat” was a better song than The Beatles, “A Day in the Life”.

"100 Best Ever" lists may be cliched and boring, but that's only because there can only be so much disagreement - those songs you always see on those lists are objectively better than others. The interesting lists are the "favorite" lists.

11 thoughts on “Some Of These Things Do Not Belong

  1. russell

    I hung in there with them pretty good until around #20 or #25. “God Only Knows” is, IMO, an excellent call for #1 pop song.

    They lost me, however, at “Sister Golden Hair”.

  2. cleek

    America is one of my guilty pleasures. probably cause it makes me feel like i’m 6 again.

    but i wouldn’t put any of their songs on any top 100 list.

  3. russell

    America is one of my guilty pleasures. probably cause it makes me feel like i’m 6 again.

    I hear that.

    The stuff that’s like that for me is the weird mix of stuff that was on the air in the very early 60’s. Pre-Beatles.

    My sister is 10 years older than me, and she was always listening to stuff like Dion and the kind of R&B that you’d hear on American Bandstand. “South Street” by the Orlons, or “Monkey Time” by Major Lance. Cool doo-wop like “My True Story” by the Jive Five. It had a good beat and you could dance to it.

    The radio was full of schmaltzy pop stuff like Doris Day singing “Que sera, sera” and Vegas hipster rat pack stuff like Sinatra. Nat King Cole. Tennessee Ernie Ford. It was like a “Mad Men” soundtrack, only for real.

    Rock and roll like we have it now kind of didn’t exist yet. There wasn’t really any one style that dominated the others, you could kind of hear anything.

    Happy thanksgiving, y’all.

  4. neddie jingo

    To expand my terse one-worder above, “Mayor” is a pure, polished pop diamond, every facet of which reflects every other facet. There are mirrorings, curlicues, rococo architectonics. Every second of it inspires unalloyed pleasure.

    And its author more or less hates it. Isn’t that strange? Andy Partridge could toss off six “Mayor of Simpletons” before breakfast, but he considers it beneath him. Wanker.

  5. cleek

    hmm.

    a dilemma: Partridge is a gifted songwriter (there can be little doubt) – so we should trust his judgment about what constitutes a good song. yet Partridge thinks Mayor is sub-optimal. do we trust his judgment ?

    never been a fan of Mayor, myself. though it got me to buy the album. and i’ve heard it used as Musak in a local supermarket… which makes me feel old.

    taste. bah.

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