Employees at the EPA headquarters in Washington, DC, discovered that sewage was literally spewing out of the water fountains, E&E News reports. They got an email at about 9 AM letting them know that there was a "water line back up" causing an "issue" with the fountains. According to the folks inside, "issue" was an understatement.
"A sewer problem at EPA HQ has resulted in poop exploding out of water fountains," Dan Becker, director of the Safe Climate Campaign, told E&E.
The poopsplosion pictured apparently detonated outside the EPA's Office of Policy, in a hallway nearby EPA administrator Scott Pruitt's office, Mashable reports. According to E&E News, a few other water fountains overflowed on the same floor, and the odor from the black sludge wafted into nearby offices. The whole thing might have caught some unsuspecting employees off guard, but according to one former agency official, the water fountains at EPA HQ have always been a little suspect.
Is there an award for Best Real Life Metaphor ?
That’s nothing.
At the State Department, all internal communications must be conducted in Russian.
At Justice, every casual Friday, Jeff Sessions designates one black FBI employee to don a Sidney Poitier mask and be chased up and down the hallways by a florid-faced guy named Buford and a pack of baying hounds until he is treed in the building’s atrium.
At Interior, they’ve installed a working fracking platform in the cafeteria.
The Forest Service lets Donald rump Jr. come in once a month, strip to the waist, and cage fight a staked and muzzled Smokey The Bear using only an elephant gun, grenades, and air support.
HHS has halted all free annual flu vaccinations in favor of mononucleosis booths.
Fish and Wildlife new motto is “When you use dynamite to fish, the fishing is dynamite.”
At the CDC, the letters C and D are forbidden.
Homeland Security celebrates Taco Tuesdays on the new rumpian calendar, on which Tuesday no longer appears.
The new lesson plan at the Department of Education reads word-for-word like a mashup of Atlas Shrugged and the Book of Revelations.
OK, yeah, the backed up sewage sluicing from the drinking fountains, of all places, at EPA, is exquisite in both its literalness and its figurativeness. I’m truly hoping this is the work of deep government radical sabotage, someone burrowing under the building and redirecting all of the plumbing. Let’s hope they sent the gas lines into Scott Pruitt’s sound-proof booth where he fund-raises from the Kochs.
Here’s his taxpayer-provided private bathroom:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCm1Egyf0tM