About animal torturer, Michael Vick, Jim Henley writes:

No, I wouldn't really execute Michael Vick out of all the Earth's criminals. My principles aren't so easily discarded. I would not electrocute him. Or drown him. Or hang him. Or slam his body to the ground until he died. There are in fact a thousand ways I would not kill him. I will now spend some time composing a list for myself, just to make sure I've thought of them all. Mother. Fuckers.

Perfect.