You can learn all about the different types of shit from the Bristol Stool Scale - with pictures! For example:

Type 4: Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft.

Nice.

But I think it'd be even better with a little tweak:

Type 4: Like sausages or snakes, smooth and soft.

Oh yeah. Savor those supple hissing esses; so smooth and soft. Slips right off the lipssss. Sibilance. Sibilance.