30 thoughts on “Fortnightly, My Ass”

  1. Rob Caldecott

    I love this: “I could care less” instead of “I couldn’t care less” has to be the worst. Opposite meaning of what they’re trying to say.

    It’s true! “I could care less” is just wrong! :)

      1. Rob Caldecott

        “Being an American I am rather ashamed of the phrase “I could care less” I have no idea why that one was not beat out of people at school, I blame the south.”

        ha ha ha.

  2. Parallel 5ths (Psychedelic Steel)

    I caught myself saying “shopping cart” instead of shopping trolley today and was thoroughly disgusted with myself. I’ve never lived nor been to the US either. Graham Nicholson, Glasgow

    Thoroughly disgusted. As you should be, Mr. Nicholson. I hope this evening found you in a bathtub of witch hazel shivering and scrubbing away the shame with a stiff brush.

  3. Rob Caldecott

    There are some pretty sad comments on there. Anyone would think us Brits are being forced to speak French!

    1. Parallel 5ths (Psychedelic Steel)

      If I could bring chav dialect to the Midwest, I would do it in a heartbeat, innit brah?

      I like the linguist’s sidebar in that article and agree with Stephen Fry’s more inclusive attitude on language generally.

      That said, if there is an unlovlier accent than the Suburban Chicago one I grew up marinading in, I’d like to hear it.

        1. Rob Caldecott

          Accents is a whole new debate and one I cannot enter without offending some of my fellow countryfolk. I’d end up having to apologise to to anyone who hails from Glasgow, Birmingham or Belfast. And Australia. *cough*

      2. cleek

        there’s an accent here in NC that just grates on me. it seems to be from the south-central part of the state, and only affects women.

        “So, she’s from Sanford. I’d best leave post-haste lest I plunge this exquisite fountain pen clean through my eardrums.”

    2. cleek

      i really like how many of the commentators there seem convinced that only Americans take liberties with English grammar and syntax.

      1. Rob Caldecott

        In my opinion it’s not the Americanisms that are the problem, it’s the pronunciations. Router is pronounced ‘rooter’. Period. :)

          2. Rob Caldecott

            Pronounce it ‘rowter’ in the UK and you’ll be laughed all the way back to the airport.

            I once heard an Australian pronounce ‘data’ as ‘darter’. How I laughed.

              1. cleek

                i could only set it to a max of 10 comments.

                though… unless i start writing really awesome (or really inflammatory) posts, maybe that’s not too much of a problem.

                no complains from the ISP yet… so maybe the mobile shite is OK.

    1. cleek

      We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, the pursuit of Happiness and to pronounce and arrange words in any damn way we see fit.

      that was an early draft. the grammarians won the day, though, and the speech clause was dropped.

  5. Rob Caldecott

    I caught myself saying ‘Ice cream truck’ the other day so decided to bathe in acid whilst gargling bleach.

  6. Cris

    Comment #9 doesn’t like “touch base.” What do you guys do, pop crease? Hit wicket?

    2. Rob Caldecott

      How about ‘get together’ or ‘get in touch’? ‘Touch base’ is something people in Product Marketing say. I heard someone say it on the phone this morning had a little chuckle. You guys play Bullshit Bingo too right?

      1. cleek

        “‘Touch base’ is something people in Product Marketing say.”

        yep.

        “You guys play Bullshit Bingo too right?”

        another yep.

        my least-fav is “going forward”.

      2. Cris

        Aargh, my employer has grown, through acquisitions, to about nine times its former size, and with it has come an overstocked Bullshit Bingo card.

        I bristle at the word “bandwidth” to mean “availability.” As in “do you have the bandwidth to work on this project?”

        Also, I hate being referred to as a “resource.”

  7. Emily L. Hauser/ellaesther

    I can’t get over the fact that there are nearly 1,300 comments on that article! And the vehemence of the opinions! “It makes me cringe no end.” “It makes me shudder.” “Have they been punished?” “I can feel the rage rising even using it here/”

    !!!

    Though I rather like entries #32 & #35:

    “Going forward? If I do I shall collide with my keyboard. Ric Allen, Matlock”

    “35. “Reach out to” when the correct word is “ask”. For example: “I will reach out to Kevin and let you know if that timing is convenient”. Reach out? Is Kevin stuck in quicksand? Is he teetering on the edge of a cliff? Can’t we just ask him? Nerina, London”

    Dearie me they are NOT taking losing the empire well, are they.

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