Spam I just received:

From: "The Hummingbird Vine"
To: ....
Subject: Brighten up your yard 

Make your home more beautiful, Attract Humming Birds! 
You'll be the talk of the neighborhood.

It's Easy to Do This Summer With A Pillar of Flaming Trumpets. 

A pillar of flaming trumpets ? What kind of hummingbirds need to be summoned with flaming trumpets ? And what are they going to do to my lawn ?

Are they going to fly down from Mt. Olympus bearing the seed of a tree that grows Zeus' golden apples; and only we can harvest them; thus making us the envy of all our neighbors ? Cause that'd be cool w/me.

Oh sure, maybe a "flaming trumpet" is a flower of some kind. Well, it's a stupid name for a flower. So there.