Sarah Palin Swimsuit Competition

The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

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Ladies and Gentlemen, Sarah Palin:

Mr. Chairman, delegates, and fellow citizens: I am so proud to be here. But I was, “that’s enough with the support of the country in uniform. Track is the journey he will have made.

It's the journey he will have made.

It's the journey of an upright and honorable man - the elimination of the public interest - and speak freely in this, a country is the idealism of those troops, that is the law.

While I was going to be interested in Jesus Christ through you because of the citizens of Alaska, may you touch them all, and may Alaska be blessed through all of you guys, and I am honored to be to be considered for the PTA because I think there’s something going on lately about how bitterly they cling to their religion and guns when those people aren't listening.

We tend to prefer candidates who use their careers to promote their careers.

And then there is a true profile in courage, and people like that are hard to come by.

He's a man who's there to serve and defend America.

I accept the challenge of a madman -not when Iran just this summer tested long-range Shahab-3 missiles capable of striking Tel Aviv, not when Iran sponsors terrorists that threaten and kill innocent people around the world.

The Iranian government wants nuclear weapons. The International Atomic Energy Agency reports that Iran is not supposed to be the daughter of Chuck and Sally Heath. Long ago, a young farmer and habber-dasher from Missouri followed an unlikely path to the people.

I came to office promising to control spending - by request if possible and by veto if necessary.

Senator McCain also promises to use the word "victory" except when he's talking about his own people. He will share his hateful agenda with the support of the country in uniform. Track is the journey he will exercise the right people.

Politics isn't just a game of clashing parties and competing interests.

The right reason is to challenge the status quo, to serve and defend America.

I accept the privilege of serving with a man who's there to serve the people of this threat and what we have under the ground. We’re very very rich. But our most important natural resource of course is our opponent's plan? What does he actually seek to cut off nearly a fifth of world energy supplies ... or that Venezuela might shut off its oil deliveries ... we Americans need to do nothing at all.

Starting in January, in a McCain-Palin administration, we're going to have delivered at a Monday rally protesting the UN appearance of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, she was my nanny when my kids sure miss her. I came to office promising major ethics reform, to end the culture of self-dealing. And today, that ethics reform is so hard to come by.

He's a man who's there to serve the people of Alaska. Let us pray for that.

That's her acceptance speech, and her canceled speech at the UN, and the text of her speech at the Master's Commission in Wasilla, run through a simple Markov chain text generator.

Not far off the real thing, eh?

Here's another one, having added in her responses in the Gibson, Couric and Hannity TV interviews.
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McCain wants to cancel this Friday's debate and "suspend his campaign" because he suddenly remembered he's a Senator? The grandstanding asshole who, by his own admission, doesn't know much about economics, hasn't cast a Senate vote since April and now he wants to play Serious Selfless Senator for the camera. He's gonna march into Washington, sit em all down and tell em to Cut The Bullshit? What a transparent ploy - plea, actually, for media attention.

I'm afraid to listen to the news coverage. Odds are good they'll fall for it.

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The non-stop lies, Palin, the constantly-changing positions, the blame-the-press defense, the time he suspended his campaign for hurricane Gustav, so he (a 72 year old man who can't lift his fucking arms) could go down there and help, and now this? It's the most ridiculous campaign ever. If he loses, people will look back on this in slack-jawed amazement. It'll be in textbooks on how Not to run a campaign. If he wins, people will blame Obama, cause McCain's got nothing but cheap tricks.

Kevin Drum points out that the VP debate is next Thursday. One has to assume that postponing this Friday's debate would upset the scheduling for that one, too... how convenient. No, wait... it's not just a theory. They want to reschedule Firday's debate for next Thursday, absolutely pre-empting the VP debate. Fucking children.

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