Today I crashed a gas station. I started pumping gas and the OS that runs the pump crashed. And I looked around and all the other pumps had crashed too. And they rebooted and then it refused to take my credit card.

This is a shitty way to test for a buffer full of zeros.

bool testZeros(unsigned char *p, int len)
{
    for (int i = 0; i < len; i++)
    {
        if (*p != 0)
            return false;
    }
    return true;
}

It's like a teenager who gets a job doing surveys. He goes to the first house on the street, knocks, gets no answer. He writes "Not Home" in his log book. Then he shrugs and writes "Not Home" next to all the slots for all the other houses on the street, too. Goes home and jerks off for a hour. And he does this every day for a year.

And then someone spends weeks trying to figure out why nobody from that block is ever home.

A $5 million 1715 “Lipinski” Stradivarius violin was stolen from Frank Almond, concert master for the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra. The suspects used a TASER C2 Personal Protector to incapacitate Almond in order to steal the 300-year-old instrument a “literally and figuratively shocking crime,” exclaimed Milwaukee Police Chief Ed Flynn in a press conference.

And how did they find the culprits? Turns out, every time you discharge a TASER stun gun, it celebrates the joyous event by blowing incriminating confetti everywhere.

As the Milwaukee Police and the FBI began to conduct the investigation they reached out to us at TASER in order to identify possible suspects in the case. This was accomplished thanks to our Anti-Felon Identification tags (AFID). The AFID program enforces accountability for each use of a TASER device. This system releases dozens of confetti-sized markers upon discharge of a CEW cartridge. Each AFID contains a serial number that tracks back to the original purchaser of the cartridge. The large number of AFIDs and their small size makes it impractical to clean up. Therefore, law enforcement can pick up one AFID and contact TASER International for a complete trace on the serial number.

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Bob Casale, co-founder of Devo, dies at 61.

Walmart shows its support for the American "working man" by using a song from a Canadian band as the background music to its "Made In America" commercial.

I get up at seven, yeah,
And I go to work at nine.
I got no time for livin'.
Yes, I'm workin' all the time.

It seems to me
I could live my life
A lot better than I think I am.
I guess that's why they call me,
They call me the workin' man.

They call me the workin' man.
I guess that's what I am.

So I get home at five o'clock,
And I take myself out a nice, cold beer.
Always seem to be wond'rin'
Why there's nothin' goin' down here.

It seems to me
I could live my life
A lot better than I think I am.
I guess that's why they call me,
They call me the workin' man.

And what an inspiring song it is: working a dead-end nine-to-five and lamenting your miserable life. I suppose that's a pretty common sentiment. But the country's biggest private employer rubbing your face in it while playing a song from a Canadian band doesn't really scream "Supporting The American Workers! U!S!A!", does it?

Eric Holder gave a speech yesterday in which he called for the automatic restoration of voting rights for felons once their sentences have been served. A few thoughts on this; I may write more depending on how seriously Mr. Holder’s dishonest speech appears to be taken.

He conveniently ignores the reason for felon disenfranchisement, namely that if you aren’t willing to follow the law, then you can hardly claim a role in making the law for everyone else, which is what you do when you vote. We have certain minimum, objective standards of responsibility, trustworthiness, and commitment to our laws that we require of people before they are entrusted with a role in the solemn enterprise of self-government.

For example, dressing up in costume, breaking into private property, stealing someone else's tea and throwing it into the harbor, then overthrowing the legally-enacted government. Those people shouldn't have been allowed to make laws for everyone else, right?

Oh, but he's probably talking about people who break just laws for ignoble reasons, right? Political protestors breaking laws in order to make a point are probably cool.

Few people have been allowed inside the sky dome at the National Corvette Museum since a sinkhole emerged early Wednesday morning, and one of them was the museum director Wendell Strode, who arrived at work to the devastating scene.

"Where we had Corvettes, there's now a big hole," said Strode.

WBKO was able to capture still images from the National Corvette Museum's live web stream inside before it went off-line when the sinkhole knocked out power where the hole can be seen. Strode says it is about 30 ft. deep and 40 ft. wide. Strode says Eight cars were swallowed by the hole, six of them owned by the museum, and two on loan from General Motors. Strode says 20 to 25 cars still remain unharmed inside the sky dome.

Fer fuckssakes boss man, there's a "Bone-Chilling: 'Catastrophic' Winter Blast" on its way, expected to arrive here within the hour. Close this office!

OK... they announced just after the snow started that the office would close in 90 minutes. Fuck that. I left immediately. And, OMFG what a disaster it is out there. Absolute white-out. Roads are uncleared, unsanded, as white as the sky. White-knuckle driving.