Suicidal Conservatives Hold Immolation Party

Selfish Congressmen happy, indignantly proclaim "Squalor can heal indigent preschoolers!", scuttle crucial House insurance poll. Sick complain health insurance premiums so costly, hardship is probable. Sign-carrying handicapped innocents protest, "Some "compassion", heartless idiot President!" Savvy children hope incumbents perish, support competent hopefuls in primaries. Smart conservatives hoped it'd pass, squawk "confined, hostage in party!"; sell condos, head into posterity.

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