We are a stupid and overly-armed society.

The Newton County Sheriff’s Office is investigating why a couple was confronted at gunpoint by neighbors and then arrested and forced to spend the night in jail when they tried to move into the home they had just purchased, Channel 2 Action News reported.

The Kalonji family had just closed on a foreclosed home and were told by their real estate agent they should go over to the house and change the locks.

But when Jean Kalonji and his wife, Angelica, started working at the home, an armed man and another person who appeared to be the man’s son allegedly confronted them.

“He say to put the hands up and get out from the house, otherwise he would shoot us,” the husband told Channel 2.

Even better, the couple are recent immigrants from The Congo.

Here's a recipe for a quick simple Italianish chicken soupy thing I make once in a while.

It doesn't have a name. I call it "chicken basil bean stuff". I think I got like half of it from a David Rosengarten cooking show I was half-watching, one day, long, long ago.

• Two boneless skinless chicken breast halves.
• 2 cups of lo-so chicken broth
• Can of cannellini (white kidney) beans. Drained. Pinto or navy beans work, too - beans are beans. Hell, even chickpeas work here.
• 3 fresh Roma tomatoes, seeded and chopped (a can of chopped tomatoes, drained, would probably work, too)
• 1/4 cup diced onion
• Clove of garlic, minced
• Lots of fresh black pepper
• Fresh basil. Ten leaves or so.
• Tablespoon of grated Parmesan
• Olive oil for sauteing
• Fresh spinach, chard, etc.. (optional)
• Cooked small pasta like acini de pepe or orzo (optional)

Heat some oil (2 tbsp?) in a big saute pan. Add onion, garlic, tomato. Saute on medium heat until the onions get soft and the tomatoes start to break down. Don't let anything stick or burn. Probably five minutes. Turn the heat down to simmer. Add the stock, stir it all up. Add the beans. Chiffonade half the basil and throw it in. Add a good dose of black pepper (1/2 tsp or so). Let that just simmer for 20 minutes or so. I want those onions to get nice and soft - I hate crunchy onions.

While that simmers, salt and pepper, and then grill the chicken. Be sure to get lots of nice dark grill marks. I use a grill pan, on the stove. Once cooked, set aside.

Once the soup has a nice... soupy look to it, chiffonade the rest of the basil. Add it and the Parmesan to the soup. Stir it all up, give it all another minute or two on the heat. Add water if there's not enough liquid. Taste it; add salt / pepper if needed.

Slice the grilled chicken into bit-sized pieces.

The optionals: In each of your bowls, add a couple of spoonfuls of pasta and a small bunch of spinach.

Soup goes into the bowl. Chicken goes on top. Put more Parmesan on top, if that's your thing. It's not my thing, but it's what Mrs likes to do.

Anyway. It's dead easy, and smells awesome: none can resist the smell of sauteed onion, garlic and tomato. Then the basil gets involved. Then the grilled chicken. Then more basil! Then Parmesan! Then someone will open wine!

How to Extract DNA

Apparently, this was a real question on a New York State 8th grade reading exam:

In the olden times, animals could speak English, just like you and me. There was a lovely enchanted forest that flourished with a bunch of these magical animals. One day, a hare was relaxing by a tree. All of a sudden, he noticed a pineapple sitting near him.
The hare, being magical and all, told the pineapple, “Um, hi.” The pineapple could speak English too.
“I challenge you to a race! Whoever makes it across the forest and back first wins a ninja! And a lifetime’s supply of toothpaste!” The hare looked at the pineapple strangely, but agreed to the race.
The next day, the competition was coming into play. All the animals in the forest (but not the pineapples, for pineapples are immobile) arranged a finish/start line in between two trees. The coyote placed the pineapple in front of the starting line, and the hare was on his way.
Everyone on the sidelines was bustling about and chatting about the obvious prediction that the hare was going to claim the victory (and the ninja and the toothpaste). Suddenly, the crow had a revolutionary realization.
“AAAAIEEH! Friends! I have an idea to share! The pineapple has not challenged our good companion, the hare, to just a simple race! Surely the pineapple must know that he CANNOT MOVE! He obviously has a trick up his sleeve!” exclaimed the crow.
The moose spoke up.
“Pineapples don’t have sleeves.”
“You fool! You know what I mean! I think that the pineapple knows we’re cheering for the hare, so he is planning to pull a trick on us, so we look foolish when he wins! Let’s sink the pineapple’s intentions, and let’s cheer for the stupid fruit!” the crow passionately proclaimed. The other animals cheered, and started chanting, “FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN!”
A few minutes later, the hare arrived. He got into place next to the pineapple, who sat there contently. The monkey blew the tree-bark whistle, and the race began! The hare took off, sprinting through the forest, and the pineapple ...
It sat there.
The animals glanced at each other blankly, and then started to realize how dumb they were. The pineapple did not have a trick up its sleeve. It wanted an honest race — but it knew it couldn’t walk (let alone run)!
About a few hours later, the hare came into sight again. It flew right across the finish line, still as fast as it was when it first took off. The hare had won, but the pineapple still sat at his starting point, and had not even budged.
The animals ate the pineapple.

Got it?

Here are two of the questions:
1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?
a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

2. Who was the wisest?
a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

Behold: The Spinon