America voted, and America's stupid

Hey, America, WTF are you thinking? Why do you keep voting-off the people who can actually sing?

Asparagus

Because defective yeti brought it up, here's one of the easiest and tastiest things I cook:

2/3 to 3/4 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts (ie. two pieces)
1/2 box of gemelli (or penne or farfalle) pasta
1/2 container of Digiorno's Basil Pesto sauce. It's in the refrigerated section. Other brands, like Buitoni's are OK, but not quite as good, for this dish.
1/2 bunch of asparagus
A big mixing bowl, for mixing.

1. Start cooking the pasta.

2. Sprinkle the chicken with some salt and pepper, and maybe a little olive oil. Grill it. I use a grill pan so I can do it on the stove, and sometimes I butterfly the breasts so they'll cook faster. When cooked, cut it into 1/4" strips, throw it in the bowl.

3. Cut the asparagus into 2" pieces (discarding the tough ends, of course). Steam it. As soon a it's tender, before it starts to turn yellow-green, take it off the heat and throw it in the bowl. Don't overcook the asparagus.

All three of these things should finish at roughly the same time. That means the cooking order should go something like this: start the water boiling, prep the chicken and start grilling it, add the pasta to the water, fuss with the chicken for a couple minutes, start the asparagus.

4. When the pasta is done, drain it and throw it in the bowl with the chicken and asparagus.

5. Add the 1/2 container of pesto (stir it up first, as the oil tends to rise to the top of the container). Stir the whole thing together.

6. Open a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Serves 2 with leftovers.

Guilt

Remember: I can be guilty of something, and you can be guilty of something, and neither of us is any less guilty because of the other.

Warranty

15 months ago I bought a laptop.
3 months ago its warranty expired.
2 days ago it died.
Yesterday, the service guy said it would likely cost $600 to fix.

Rat farts.