Category Archives: Uncategorized

Alan Keyes, A Truly Sinister And Evil Man

My father-in-law, recently deceased, is still on a whole host of wingnut mailing lists. And, we're getting his mail.

My current favorite is one from the Black America PAC (AKA, Alan Keyes, the head-trauma crazy inspiration for the theory of the Crazification Factor).

The outside of envelope it came is says:

"UNITED STATES PRESIDENT" BARACK OBAMA
If the sound of that scares you, it should. Because he is truly an evil man.

I gotta admit, that was a real attention-grabber ! Especially given McPOW's recent efforts to turn the GOP base into a murderous posse. And the inside doesn't let up...

First, there's a breathless six page screed, formatted in TimeCube-like a mix of italics, underlines and SCREECHING ALL CAPS, SOMETIMES ALL AT ONCE !! Describing (in a way) some of the things Obama did while he was an Illinois state Senator, and some of the things (allegedly) on Obama's agenda, including:

  • surrender in Iraq
  • the giveaway of out sovereignty to the United Nations
  • draconian environmental regulations
  • a "right" to universal healthcare

(his formatting)

Doesn't really sound like the same Obama I'm voting for...

He says:

And believe me, if you think we cannot expose him and turn black American voters against Obama, please think again.

... and goes on for two pages about how black Americans should love Republicans, and how the only reason they don't is because they've been brainwashed by Jesse Jackson and Farrakhan and Sharpton and "ultra-liberal teachers -- from kindergarten to graduate school."

And then, he begs for money. Here's the pledge letter, which you're supposed to mail back to him, with your donation:

Dear Alan,
Thank you for alerting me to the shocking fact that Barack Obama, as a critically position state Senator in Illinois, personally prevented initial passage of the "Born Alive" legislation that would have required that all steps be taken to keep alive a baby born alive after a failed abortion.

Mr Obama chose to fight this bill and allow the murders of such miracle babies to continue!

That makes him, as you correctly state, not just a run-of-the-mill liberal, but a representative of the evil that will destroy our American conscience and our liberty.

The the very survival of the United Stated as a free and sovereign God-fearing nation at stake, WE ABSOLUTELY CANNOT ALLOW THIS SINISTER EVIL TO WIN THE WHITE HOUSE!

Like you, I realize he can and will win in November if we sit back and do nothing. And like you, I am now morally bound to enter this fight.

(all formatting in the original)

... and then there's some information on where to send your donation.

Obama is a "SINISTER EVIL" ?

Humanity is doomed.

Premature Ejaculation Gene Found

(poor Gene. i'd hide too, if people called me that.)

BBC NEWS:

A study of nearly 200 Dutch men found those who climaxed too soon during intercourse had a version of a gene that controls the hormone serotonin.

Men with this version ejaculated twice as quickly as other men in the study.

Serotonin levels are what control the rapidity of ejaculation, say the Utrecht University researchers told the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

...

She said men with primary premature ejaculation tended to be fast reactors generally.

"These men have very quick reflexes. They may be excellent at playing tennis or computer games, for example."

Don't It Make Your Brown Blonde Blue

msnbc.com:

A Connecticut judge has given the brush-off to a blonde woman's lawsuit claiming L'Oreal Inc. ruined her social life when she accidentally dyed her hair brunette with one of its products.

Charlotte Feeney of Stratford says she can never return to her natural blonde hue, a shock that left her so traumatized she needed anti-depressants.

She says she suffered headaches and anxiety, missed the attention that blondes receive and had to stay home and wear hats most of the time.

Idiot

MetaTunes

This take on the "Take On Me" video is pretty freakin hilarious:

I love the "pipe wrench" segment.

But, for my money, the ultimate in humorous meta-music is still DaVinci's Notebook's "Title Of The Song":

(lyrics)