Tinted Sheen, the Charlie Sheen Browser Blocker

SB 222 – This act modifies the child labor laws. It eliminates the prohibition on employment of children under age fourteen. Restrictions on the number of hours and restrictions on when a child may work during the day are also removed. It also repeals the requirement that a child ages fourteen or fifteen obtain a work certificate or work permit in order to be employed. Children under sixteen will also be allowed to work in any capacity in a motel, resort or hotel where sleeping accommodations are furnished. It also removes the authority of the director of the Division of Labor Standards to inspect employers who employ children and to require them to keep certain records for children they employ. It also repeals the presumption that the presence of a child in a workplace is evidence of employment.

But that's just the summary. Let's look at some specifics!

9. No child shall be required to work with an animal which a reasonable person would regard as dangerous in the same circumstances, unless an animal trainer or handler qualified by training and experience is present.

Oh, well, as long as there's a trainer present!

10. No child shall be required to perform a stunt without prior consultation with the child, the child's parent, legal custodian or guardian and
... When any unusual physical, athletic or acrobatic activity, stunts, special effects or other potentially hazardous activity involving a child is to be done, the employer shall have available a person qualified to administer medical assistance on an emergency basis and transportation to the nearest medical facility providing emergency services. First-aid kits shall always be available at a child's place of employment.

First aid kits are a good idea.

8. No child shall be required to work in a situation which places the child in a clear and present danger to life or limb. If a child believes he or she is in such a dangerous situation, after discussing the matter with his or her parent, legal custodian, guardian or designated person and the employer, the child shall not be required to perform in such situation, regardless of the validity or reasonableness of the child's belief.

That actually makes sense! Good job!

New Wye Oak album today! I pre-ordered it weeks ago, and when I turned on my PC this AM, there was a message from iTunes saying it was available for download! Yay!

So... I started iTunes, told it to start downloading, and went to play some Facebook Scrabble™. Boom! Error #50! Download failed about 1/3 of the way through for each of the first three songs! Grrr... OK, iTunes, restart the download on those three songs. It restarts, then finishes them and all the rest without further problems. Yay!

I decide to burn the album to a CD so I can listen on my way to work. iTunes says "No, these songs are not authorized!" "The fuck?" I ask. I play the first few seconds of each song, to see if it will prompt me to login and authorize any of them. Nope. No issues. Try to burn again. Same fail. Restart iTunes, retry the burn. Same failure. Restart the PC. Same failure.

Poke around the internet to see if anyone else has had this issue. Yep. Plenty. No resolution.

Then I see a comment on a message board where somebody says you can use Windows Media Player to burn iTunes songs. "The fuck?" I ask. So I try it. And, yes indeed, WMP can read and burn iTunes song files (.m4a files) to CD. Wow! I am the master of my digital media! Epic win!

Get in my car, put the CD in, it starts to play... about 1:00 into the first song, there's a 5 second silent spot. Odd. About 1:00 into the second song, there's a 5 second silent spot. "The fuck?" I ask. About 1:00 into the third song, there's a 5 second silent spot. The rest of the songs are OK.

So apparently instead of restarting the failed downloads, iTunes simply resumed them from the places where the download failures happened; and it didn't care that the last data it received was garbage, thus resulting in five seconds of silence in each of the files. Then it screwed up the authorizations for them.

That's it. No more buying songs from iTunes for me. Fucking idiots.

Factual Errors in Sharktopus

I've always thought that Bradford Pears trees smell like the inside of a bike tire - that stale, rubbery air. But, the internet disagrees. The internet says:

Bradford pears smell like rancid grease.
Bradford Pears smell like jism.
Bradford Pears smell like lobster bisque.
Bradford Pears smell like semen.
Bradford Pears smell like fish.
Bradford Pears smell like period blood.
Bradford Pears smell like a big, greasy wad of semen.
Bradford Pears smell like ass in the spring.
Bradford pears smell like an old vagina.
Bradford pears smell like shit.
Bradford pears smell like feces.
Bradford Pears smell like 'Headache' to me.
Bradford Pears smell like rotting meat.

Slow Loris And Tiny Umbrella

Crusin round Fark, I spot a link that claims Ghaddafffffii has started using tactical nukes on his people! Wow, I say to myself. So I read the linked article and it turns out to be a bunch of wild-eyed speculation - something exploded, in a big way. But the discussion of the event ends up including quotes from people saying nukes were used in Iraq and Afghanistan! And that Libya's nukes might have come from...

wait for it...
this will be good...

Israel!

Yippee!

And then, the comments... where I learned that some 9/11 Truthers think the WTC towers were brought down with mini-nukes. And not just one or two nukes at the base of each tower. No, a whole string of them, going all the way up each tower! Oh, and did I say "some" Truthers think that? I meant a lot !

I need a drink.

I've always liked this NPR story which attempts, but ultimately fails to answer the question: Why Do Some Songs Fade Out At The End? Lots of nice record industry trivia and arcana in there. But again, it doesn't really answer the question - everybody had their own reason for doing it, initially, and eventually it became a standard option.

I'm thinking of that because my iPod just pulled-up the Kinks doing "Death Of A Clown" during a BBC session sometime in the 60s. And at the end, while the Kinks fade the song out live, the announcer says

"And from Mr. Dave Davies it was 'Death Of A Clown'. OK fellas. Out with a nod. That's it. Fade it away. Very nice. I think it gives them a great sense of power to do that."

Me.ow.

I wanted to double check that NPR article to make sure there wasn't anything in there about DJ's resenting bands who put out records that faded out, because pushing the volume slider down is the DJ's job, dammit! There wasn't.

Cause two out of three ain't bad.

Had a bit of a cooking frenzy yesterday. Made a variation of the "no knead" bread, using 2/3s white wheat flour and 1/3 standard white bread flour. I also used a bit less water than I should have, and I actually kneaded it just a little bit. The result was great: the crust didn't shatter like the no-knead bread usually does (needed more water, I think), but it was a bit denser than the standard no-knead, which usually comes out with really big air pockets throughout. This was pretty much perfect sandwich bread texture.

If you've never made bread before, the no-knead recipe is a great way to start. It's very easy and very forgiving.

Then I made a boiled cider pie, which is a somewhat ominous name for what is simply an apple custard pie. Boil 2 cups of apple cider down to 2/3s of a cup, add two grated Granny Smith apples, eggs, butter, lemon juice, sugar and drop it into a pie crust. Really, really good. Tart and appley, and just a bit rich.

And finally Chicken with 40 cloves of garlic, which is basically chicken legs, baked in a sealed dish with garlic, celery, tarragon and a splash of vermouth. This was not fabulous. Chicken legs can be a drag with all their tendons and cartilage and other gnarly bits, and cooked this way, they come out an unappetizing gray, as if they weren't really cooked at all. The meat was tender and moist, but you have to fight the chicken's anatomy to get to all of it. Worst of all, the flavors just weren't great. The celery cooked down to mush. The tarragon was too much. The vermouth was weird. The garlic (obviously) dominated, but there's only so much baked garlic a person can eat - even when spreading it on fresh, warm, whole wheat bread.

via “Premiere On Call is our new custom caller service,” read the service’s website, which disappeared as this story was being reported (for a cached version of the site click here). “We supply voice talent to take/make your on-air calls, improvise your scenes or deliver your scripts. Using our simple online booking tool, specify the kind of voice you need, and we’ll get your the right person fast. Unless you request it, you won’t hear that same voice again for at least two months, ensuring the authenticity of your programming for avid listeners.”

The actors hired by Premiere to provide the aforementioned voice talents sign confidentiality agreements and so would not go on the record. But their accounts leave little room for doubt. All of the actors I questioned reported receiving scripts, calling in to real shows, pretending to be real people. Frequently, one actor said, the calls were live, sometimes recorded in advance, but never presented on-air as anything but real.