For those of you without access to a spatula, but who need to brown a steak on two sides, Paula Deen offers an alternative method:

Heat a heavy bottomed skillet over medium-high heat. Rub 1 tablespoon vegetable oil all over the steak and season it with salt and pepper on both sides. Place the steak in the preheated skillet to sear on one side. Sear the face-up side with a blowtorch simultaneously. When both sides of the steak are browned, transfer the skillet into the preheated oven to finish cooking.

Or, you could turn it over. Perhaps using a fork. Or even your fingers!

O'Ffensive?

A Randburg man has posted an advert on the Gumtree classifieds website in which he would like a midget to kick his ex-girlfriend on the shins.

"I was recently dumped and require the services of a midget to go and kick my ex-girlfriend in the shins whilst she is at work," he writes.

The Modesto Kid has done a series of recordings of him fiddlin on his groovy Stroh fiddle and singin along, in his kitchen.

Jeremy's Breakdown:

Check out the rest!

Obama Is Right!

An auto corrected text message, accidentally sent to the wrong number, was the catalyst to lockdowns Wednesday at West Hall middle and high schools.

Just before noon, law enforcement and school officials issued the lockdowns after a West Hall community member reported a threatening text message.

The text, saying "gunman be at west hall today," was received and reported to police around 11:30 a.m. But after police tracked the number, they learned the auto correct feature on the new cellphone changed "gunna" to "gunman." The message being sent to the wrong number added to the confusion.

Keystone Claims Don't Add Up

Here are a few different concoctions which go by the name "Tequila Mockingbird":

• 1 1/2 oz tequila
  3/4 oz green creme de menthe
  juice of 1 limes

  (this one appears to be the most common)

• 1/2 cup unsweetened apple cider
  2 oz. tequila
  2 oz. black currant-flavored liqueur (Cassis)
  2 tsp. fresh lime juice

• 2 oz. tequila
  1 oz. limoncello
  1 oz. fresh squeezed lemon juice
  2 dashes Angostura bitters

• 1 1/2 ounces Tequila
  1/2 ounce Triple Sec
  1/2 ounce Blue Curaçao
  2 ounces Orange Juice
  1 ounce Cranberry Juice

• 1 Jalapeño pepper slice
  2 oz Patrón Silver Tequila
  1.5 oz Watermelon-Basil Purée*
  .75 oz Fresh lime juice
  .75 oz Agave syrup (one part agave nectar, one part water)

Six-Legged Giant Finds Secret Hideaway

Davy Jones dies at 66.

Here he is pretending to play bass: