The Good Samurderer

A lawyer said unto Jesus, who is my neighbor? And Jesus answering said: A certain man went up from Delancey Street to Broadway-Lafayette on the F train who was homeless and hungry and half crazed and screaming.

And many housed persons were there and looked on him and did nothing.But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was: and when he saw this man, he had compassion on the housed persons who had to listen to him scream, and he went to the homeless man, and strangled him for several minutes until he was dead.

And after brief questioning by the police he was let go, and later returned with a Republican lawyer declaring himself in the right, and all the other Republicans cheered his generous strangulation.