Gilbert Gottfried has been declared less sexy than Osama Bin Laden.

I just punched my iPod.

Two Fridays ago, I accidentally dropped it as I was walking out of my office. It fell on carpet, and when I got it home, it seemed to be working OK, so I thought everything was fine. Then, last week, back at work, while it's playing I noticed little sounds in the background - like little electronic crickets, steadily chirping.

After a few day's worth of poking, I discovered that if I push down on the case a little bit, the noise stops. It's not a grounding issue, because I can get the noise to stop by putting a full coffee cup on top of the iPod, too. I also found that I can get the crickets to stop for a long time if I thump it just right with my finger. So, I'm guessing there's something slightly loose inside the iPod.

Today, I couldn't get the thump to work. So I beat upon my iPod with my fist - just once. It didn't care. And now I hate what I've become - an iPod abuser. Such a long journey from the iPod worshipper I started out as.

Class, your assignment over the weekend is to read the following paper: "Origin of the Novel Species Noodleous doubleous: Evidence for Intelligent Design", by Thomas D. Schneider, Ph.D.

Abstract

Penne Rigate will spontaneously insert itself into Rigatoni (order pasta) under liquid to gas transition conditions of H₂O to create the previously unobserved species Noodleous doubleous. The estimated probability of this spontaneous generation event is too low to be explained by thermodynamics and therefore apparently represents intelligent design.

There may be a quiz on Monday.

The Quincunx, in a nutshell:

There are only 30 people in all of England; and no matter how you choose them, in every group of five people, three will know each other, two will be working to kill or rob one of the others, and one will have two names; and it's been that way for a hundred years.

The plot is absurdly complex (and not just because it's tightly bound to the intricacies of 19th C. British estate and inheritance laws and procedure!) ; and every few pages the main characters have to take time out from implementing their idiotic schemes and explain the whole thing to each other - because even they can't keep it straight without periodic recitation. But when they do that, you can be assured that a Big Plot Twist is about to happen ! And that means everything they just explained will need to be revised ! Frankly, I think they probably know that's exactly what will happen and are just helping refresh the reader's memory so he'll know where to put the new information when it arrives.

But after more than 700 extremely dense pages (dense in typeface and in language), the author ends it without answering the Big Question. And I'm all like ... Now you pull out the subtlety? After 700 pages of melodramatic wankery, you decide ambiguity is the way to end this thing? What The Fuck?

But, at least I got to learn that there was a brisk trade in human flesh (from stolen corpses. for meat.) in mid-1800's London.

(And, you should really read the link I stuffed up there. It brings a whole new dimension to bad writing ! )

(repost)

news from me has a link to a video of a Rice Krispies commercial from 1964, the music for which was written and recorded by the Rolling stones.

The Pensacola News Journal has a story:

It may have been built with heavenly intentions, but a judge has ruled that the creationism theme park known as Dinosaur Adventure Land still must obey earthly laws.

Escambia County authorities this week locked up a museum building at the theme park on North Palafox Street in Pensacola after Circuit Judge Michael Allen ruled the owners were in contempt of court.

Owners of the park, which shows how dinosaurs may have roamed the Earth just a few thousand years ago, did not obtain a building permit before constructing the building in 2002. They have argued in and out of court that it violates their "deeply held" religious beliefs, and that the church-run facility does not have to obtain permits.

After almost four years of litigation, the judge disagreed and said the county has the authority to close the building until the owners comply with regulations.

The judge also fined two church leaders $500 each per day for every day the building is used or occupied. If church officials continue to refuse to comply with local ordinances, the judge may decide that the building can be razed, Allen's ruling said.

County commissioners showed no sympathy to members of the Creation Science Evangelism ministry who spoke out Thursday night at a commission meeting about the county's actions.

"Scripture also says 'Render unto Caesar what Caesar demands.' And right now, Caesar demands a building permit," County Commission Chairman Mike Whitehead said.

tee hee.

(via The Panda's Thumb