Stop me at the point you think the GOP would have closed the government, burned DC to the ground, and stormed the White House to remove a Democratic President.

1. The President had several extra-marital affairs.
2. In the weeks after his third wife, ...
3. ... an illegal immigrant, ...
4. ... gave birth.
5. He had an affair with a porn star.
6. She spanked him with a copy of Forbes.
7. Thugs were sent to threaten her and her child to keep quiet about it.
8. He then conspired with his mobbed-up lawyer.
9. To pay the porn star $130,000.
10. On the eve of the election.
11. To keep quiet about the affair.
12. He used a pseudonym on the contract.
13. As he often did in his dealings.
14. She wasn't the first mistress he bought the silence of.
15. Nor was she his first mistress who was involved in adult entertainment.
16. He denied having anything to do with the contract or with this porn star.
17. The payment is either a campaign finance violation.
18. Or money laundering.
19. Or didn't happen.
20. Depending on which story you believe.
21. There is allegedly photographic evidence of the affair.
22. The porn star's lawyer has it.