Behold the Akai LPK25!
It's a MIDI controller; in response to user input, it generates MIDI signals for other devices to use. This one sends its signals down a USB cable into a computer. And that's all it does - it makes no sounds of its own. It exists to tell other things to make sounds: things like a copy of Cakewalk Music Creator, for example.
I can't play piano, but I'm going to learn enough to amuse myself. Here's one of my first attempts.
All of the sounds here are from the software-based synthesizers that come with Cakewalk. Technology is amazing.
I'm still shit for coming up with chords on the fly, but I can pick my way around a scale once I map out the notes.
Amusement achieved !