Yawning Before Sex

We Are All Criminals Now

From America's Finest News Source:

Hitler Hairdo, whose MySpace page cites Radiohead as a "major influence," has been playing house parties and open-mic nights around the Dayton area for more than a year, but has yet to gain a substantial following. In "Bassist Needed" fliers distributed last month, the band describes itself as "a mix between Radiohead and Smashing Pumpkins, but primarily interested in the earlier guitar-driven sounds of Pablo Honey and The Bends."

"That's absolute shite," Yorke said when asked for a response. "The epochal, full-bodied shoegaziness of early Radiohead is completely absent from the sample tracks they put online, and where are the bracing yet approachable guitar patterns?"

"And just look at their stupid band photo," added Yorke. "Radiohead would never dress like that."

But maybe you would, if he used Listerine. Not only does it cure halitosis (and kill typhus bacteria!), it's safe enough to be "used in any body cavity" !

What a fucking stupid idea.