Category Archives: Uncategorized

The Beautiful Signs

A beautiful new sinkhole appeared on the White House lawn yesterday. It’s a small hole, but the symbolism is the best: so huge, so nice.

What makes the symbolism even more huge and even more nice is that a sinkhole appeared in front of Trump’s Mar-A-Lago resort on May 22, 2017 – in other words: exactly one year before this latest hole appeared.

Jump in, Trump. Your master has summoned you.

Domestic Terrorism

[Las Vegas shooter] Paddock reportedly said, “Somebody has to wake up the American public and get them to arm themselves,” when the two met less than a month before the Oct. 1 shooting that killed 58 people and injured hundreds. “Sometimes sacrifices have to be made,” he added.

Paddock also ranted about “camps” the Federal Emergency Management Agency set up after Hurricane Katrina, which he claimed were a “dry run for law enforcement and military to start kickin’ down doors and … confiscating guns.”

USA PATRIOT 802 (c):

`(5) the term `domestic terrorism' means activities that--

    `(A) involve acts dangerous to human life that are a violation of the criminal 
           laws of the United States or of any State;

    `(B) appear to be intended--

        `(i) to intimidate or coerce a civilian population;

        `(ii) to influence the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion; or

        `(iii) to affect the conduct of a government by mass destruction, 
          assassination, or kidnapping; and

   `(C) occur primarily within the territorial jurisdiction of the United States.'.

Heh. Seems Legit.

The National Enquirer, once just a goofy nonsensical tabloid now a raging pro-Trump propoganda machine has a headline saying:

TRUMP PASSED POLYGRAPH PROVING NO RUSSIA COLLUSION!

That seemed like a potential interesting story! And here’s what USAToday says:

But the Enquirer makes it clear it is firmly in Trump’s corner with its world exclusive blockbuster: “Trump Passed Polygraph Proving No Russia Collusion!”

The gist: The tabloid says a Florida lie detection expert named Michael Sylvestre, at its request, analyzed a recording of a press conference Trump gave in December in which he proclaimed there was no collusion between his campaign and the Russians, declaring, “That has been proven.”

Sylvestre, the tabloid says, “subjected those very words to the keen and unbiased judgment of the world-renowned DecepTech Voice Stress Analysis Machine.”

The machine, and Sylvestre, in the past have found that Hillary Clinton, former FBI director James Comey and former Attorney General Loretta Lynch have fibbed bigly.

The verdict on Trump: “HUGE” anger — but no dishonesty.” Sylvestre tells the magazine that Trump “was being truthful” when discussing the collusion question.

“I believe he was angry and not deceptive when he spoke about the millions of dollars the investigation has spent,” Sylvestre concludes.

Case, presmuably, closed.

On the other hand, the Enquirer assures us that Brad Pitt’s college fraternity brothers are “Still on Team Aniston!”

Nice shade, USAToday.

A Message To You, Rudy

Stop your messing around
Better think of your future
Time you straighten right out
Creating problems in town

President Trump undercut his attorney, Rudolph W. Giuliani, on Friday, and said the former New York mayor will eventually get the facts right regarding a payment to a pornographic actress who said she had an affair with Mr. Trump.

Everything “has been said incorrectly,” Mr. Trump said, blaming the media coverage and Mr. Giuliani’s short time on the job.

Mr. Giuliani, who joined Mr. Trump’s legal team last month, “started a day ago,” Mr. Trump said, speaking to reporters on Friday as he left Washington to attend a National Rifle Association convention in Dallas.

“He’s a great guy,” Mr. Trump said. “He’ll get his facts straight.”

Stop your fooling around
Time you straighten right out
Better think of your future
Else you’ll wind up in jail

The Specials – A Message To You Rudy

A Brief History Of One Of Many Scandals

Stop me at the point you think the GOP would have closed the government, burned DC to the ground, and stormed the White House to remove a Democratic President.

  1. The President had several extra-marital affairs.
  2. In the weeks after his third wife, …
  3. … an illegal immigrant, …
  4. … gave birth.
  5. He had an affair with a porn star.
  6. She spanked him with a copy of Forbes.
  7. Thugs were sent to threaten her and her child to keep quiet about it.
  8. He then conspired with his mobbed-up lawyer.
  9. To pay the porn star $130,000.
  10. On the eve of the election.
  11. To keep quiet about the affair.
  12. He used a pseudonym on the contract.
  13. As he often did in his dealings.
  14. She wasn’t the first mistress he bought the silence of.
  15. Nor was she his first mistress who was involved in adult entertainment.
  16. He denied having anything to do with the contract or with this porn star.
  17. The payment is either a campaign finance violation.
  18. Or money laundering.
  19. Or didn’t happen.
  20. Depending on which story you believe.
  21. There is allegedly photographic evidence of the affair.
  22. The porn star’s lawyer has it.

Paging Dr John Barron

When Dr. Harold Bornstein described in hyperbolic prose then-candidate Donald Trump’s health in 2015, the language he used was eerily similar to the style preferred by his patient.

It turns out the patient himself wrote it, according to Bornstein.

He said Trump read out the language as Bornstein and his wife were driving across Central Park.

“(Trump) dictated the letter and I would tell him what he couldn’t put in there,” he said. “They came to pick up their letter at 4 o’clock or something.”